When Should You Hook Up with a Guy?

Lady Shostakovich
11 min readMay 17, 2020

It’s a question we’ve asked since the beginning of time: When should you hook up with someone?

For years, pop culture (and the loudest person at any party) made hooking up seem easy, effortless, safe, and sometimes hot…but then there came the #MeToo movement. In the face of global health crisis, the #MeToo movement feels like it happened forever ago, but it’s important not to forget what happened: countless women (and men) began publically acknowledging their past sexual encounters were unpleasant, distressing and even traumatizing.

#MeToo was controversial, but the movement has revealed one thing for certain: our society’s current sexual playbook is broken, and it’s hurting us.

Love, history, romantic relationships and the physical, emotional and cultural implications of sex are complicated and divisive, but there actually is an easy answer to solving — not all — but many of issues surrounding our current sexual woes.

Before we have sex with someone, we need to establish two things with that person: trust and the ability to communicate.

Ensuring you can trust your sexual partner’s character and that you both are comfortable and capable of communicating your needs and desires doesn’t happen over night for the vast majority of people. This typically occurs over a period of time.

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